


That's What Friends Are For

by Zockerbestha



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Anal Sex, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Death of Freddie Mercury, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Friends With Benefits, Human-Demon friendship, M/M, Post-Freddie Mercury's Death, Quote: You go too fast for me Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:55:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24976468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zockerbestha/pseuds/Zockerbestha
Summary: It happened almost two decades ago, but Crowley still isn’t over the hurt. He keeps up this bloody act of being fine, taking Aziraphale to secrets lunches and dinners, laughing like his heart isn’t shattered inside his chest. There is only one being in his life that he can be who he is with and do so freely and without fear, and this being isn’t Aziraphale.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens)/Freddie Mercury, Jim Hutton/Freddie Mercury
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	1. Rest now, my friend

**Author's Note:**

> This is a two chapter story about the comfort Crowley finds in Freddie Mercury and then finally, in Aziraphale.

_1983_

Crowley lowered himself down until his hips were flush against his friends, the hardness deep inside of his demonic body and he hissed at the stretch.

Freddie moved his hands to his bony hips, holding him gently. A reminder that he wasn’t alone right now, if the cock inside of Crowley wasn’t enough of a hint.

Crowley should wait for his body to get adjusted, but he began to move his hips up and down Freddies length anyway, even if it mixed the pleasure of it with pain. But it didn’t matter, he could go as fast as he wanted.

Freddie would _never_ tell him he was going too fast.

Tears were in his eyes as he planted his hands on Freddies chest for stability as he basically bounced himself on the cock inside of him, effectively punching the air out of himself every time he moved down.

“Shh, darling” Freddie reached up and wiped his tears away, shushing his whines. “It’s alright.”

The whole ´You go too fast for me´ incident with Aziraphale happened almost two decades ago, but it still burned deep inside of Crowley. He was doing _everything_ he could to not push Aziraphale too far, had been oh so careful about how far he could go, never even getting close to any line to overstep. But it was _still_ too fast.

No, he´s getting pulled under again, this wasn’t why he was here right now.

“F-Freddie, need…need more.”

“Alright darling, let me handle this.”

Crowley lifted himself up and off, letting Freddie guide his body into a different position. He was on all fours and let his chest fall down to the mattress, face pressed into the pillows that smelled like his friend behind him. Crowley held his arse up high and spread his knees apart, groaning when Freddie pushed back inside in this new position, pounding into him until his brain got fuzzy. 

It took a few more minutes of this before Crowleys orgasm exploded from inside him, painting the covers under him white and Freddie moaned at the tightness around him. He didn’t need to ask, knew just what Crowley wanted and emptied his own spend inside the condom, still buried in the shaking Demon.

Freddie pulled out and took the condom off before he dropped down next to Crowley, stroking down his friends tense back and Crowley let the final tears shake from his eyes.

Crowley twisted his body and flopped down on his back, snapping his fingers to clean themselves and make a cigarette appear in both Freddies and his own hand.

He licked his finger and inflamed it, holding it out for Freddie to lite his one first before he did the same to his own. They smoked in silence for a while.

“Do you want to talk about it, Darling?” Freddie asked with some hesitation.

Those words alone brought the tears back to Crowleys serpent eyes and all the afterglow of sex was forgotten again, as it often did after they did this.

Freddie Mercury, the lead singer of the amazing band Queen, is Crowleys best friend. He is the only human Crowley had ever opened up to, made himself vulnerable for. Because Freddie made him feel safe enough to do so.

Freddie knew everything Crowley was, although obviously not from the very beginning of their friendship. They´ve met after one of Queens concerts. Crowley was a fan of their music for a while now and the concerts gave him a reason to forget hell and his assignments for a while. Afterwards, he approached Freddie, who caught a glimpse of his golden eyes behind the sunglasses and found them to be so beautiful and interesting that he asked to spend more time with Crowley.

After years of friendship, their relationship changed into a sexual one after Freddie confessed his homosexuality to Crowley and asked if he was open to explore this with him, to which Crowley agreed to. It was after their first night spent together like this that Crowley made a confession of his own; That he was an actual Demon of hell. (Of course, he had to prove this with some miracles).

To his surprise, that didn’t make Freddie run for the hills and their friendship grew even stronger. And then, Crowley told him about Aziraphale.

The Angel, the love of his life, that he couldn’t be with and hurt him in many ways already, if only to protect them both. It was hardly the first time Crowley came with teary eyes to Freddies doorstep for a shag and some alcohol, hoping to drown the burn of pain in his heart, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last time. It never worked as good as he hoped to.

Freddie never sent him away, was always ready to comfort him. Which is why Crowley will always consider this human his best friend, even if his heart wished for it to be his Angel.

Freddie rolled to his side and laid his hand on Crowleys thin chest, stroking his skin to try and sooth him. “Shhh, you don’t need to answer me, you know you don’t.”

Crowley snapped his half smoked cigarette away and turned to hide his face in the crook of Freddies neck and shoulder, sobbing while his body shook with it. Freddie reached over to put his own cig over the ashbin before he pulled Crowley closer, snuggling a literal Demon to his chest.

“’s Aziraphale again, isn’t it?” Freddie asked cautiously, rubbing Crowleys back.

“Two bloody decades!” Crowley wails in frustration. “And it still hurts! It fucking hurts Freddie!”

“I know it does, Darling” Freddie said, reluctantly letting the Demon pull away again. “But it will get better one day, I promise.”

Crowley rubbed his eyes, the gold having a red edge to it now, and let out a bitter laugh. “How the fuck do you humans do this? I’m over 6’000 years old, I should know how to deal with feelings of all things. Yet you humans live for maybe a century at best and get yours under control with only a few years.”

“We never really do” Freddie watched his demonic friend sit up in the bed. “We just learn to keep it down, I think.”

“Can’t even do that” Crowley remarks, forcing his body to breath normally again.

Freddie too, sits up, his voice getting a bit more stern, but still clearly concerned for Crowley. “Stop being so harsh to yourself. And don’t give me that ‘I’m a Demon, can’t help it’ speech again. It’s bullshit.”

Crowley let out a genuine laugh at that, sniffling quietly and collecting his thoughts. “Thanks, the only card I had.”

Freddie decided to use this moment to push again. “Aziraphale loves you.”

Crowleys sadness turns into anger rather quickly. “Shut up!”

But Freddie does not. “He’s scared, if it was safe for both of you, he would never leave your side again.”

Crowley whipped around, his hair bursting into flames in an effort to scare Freddie. But the human is unimpressed.

“I’m not scared of you, Crowley. I know it hurts but I believe that there is a future for the two of you, someday. You just need to finally talk.”

Crowley turns the flames off again, realizing that they are ineffective. “I can’t. Even if what you say is true and he does love me too, he’ll never admit to it to me. He’ll only drive the knife in deeper and I can´t deal with more of it, Freddie. I _can’t._ ”

Freddie grew quiet after that, giving Crowley an expression that he wasn’t used to.

“Somethings bothering you. Tell me, did the press drag you through the mud again? Tell me who and when and I’ll send them straight to hell” Crowley promised, his own worries forgotten in an instant.

Freddie turned his head away, avoiding eye contact. “Crowley, you’re my best friend and I want to help you. I’ll always want to. But I don’t know for how much longer I can.”

“What do you mean?” Crowley asked, hesitantly reaching out to grab his hand.

Freddie took a deep breath. “I’m going to die…maybe soon.”

It took a few seconds for those words to settle in Crowleys mind and when they did, his immediate response was: “No, you’re not!”

Freddie turned back to him again with a confused expression. “It’s not much of a choice now, is it?”.

For all the singer knew, Crowley never mentioned any powers regarding keeping humans alive for as long as he wished. Which would’ve been a lie if he did claim to have these powers.

“Ngk! B-But you can’t! I mean, you´re mortal of course, but I-I…” Crowley tried to utter any sort of response but couldn’t really manage any.

When their friendship began, Crowley dreaded the reality of it, that someday Freddie will leave him to live on alone again. And Crowley couldn’t cope with this, now that he had a taste of someone he genuinely liked and who openly liked him back. It wasn’t fair for that to end.

Freddie listened to Crowleys incoherent babbling for a while before he stopped it by taking Crowleys face between his hands. Forcing the attention back to himself.

“I’m sorry. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t leave you, but unless you’re ready to try and fight death itself, I’m afraid there isn’t anything that we can do about it.”

It is what it is and no matter how much Crowley hated how powerless he was, he had to accept it eventually. “Why? Are you sick?”

Freddie nodded and took his hands back to himself. “It’s a new Virus, s’ called HIV. The Docs don’t know much about it yet, but they do know that its fatal and not curable. It may take a decade to end me off, or maybe I’ll be dead by next week, who knows.”

Crowley forced himself to be calm, writing the sickness down in a metaphorical notebook to kick whoever came up with it in hell later. Because this situation was terrible for himself, but even worse for Freddie.

But while Crowley was all focused on now helping Freddie through this, his friend had the same plan for _him._

“Crowley, I need you to promise me that you’ll talk to Aziraphale.”

Crowleys voice cracked with grief. “No, Freddie you can’t make me promise that. Please.”

But Freddie needed to push on, because this was maybe the most important thing he had to do in his life. “I need you to, Crowley! I-I can’t leave this earth behind, knowing that I’ll leave you miserable and alone again. I can’t let that happen! I need someone to take care of you, to love you and keep you for when I can’t do that anymore. And that person is Aziraphale!”.

“You’re talking as if you really know him!” Crowley yelled back, getting up from bed to pace. “B-But you don’t! So shut up!”.

“I _do_ know him!” Freddie retaliated, coughed with the force of raising his voice. “How can I not?! After all the things you told me about you two, all the things you showed me, all the heartbreak I had felt with you when he pushed you away again?! And yet, I know he will make sure that you’re safe and loved.”

Crowley couldn’t take this anymore. He gathered his clothes, scattered on the floor, together and dressed himself, pushing his emotional shield, his sunglasses, back on his face. “Fuck you! I’m leaving!”.

His hand hit the door handle, as if to threaten, but that’s when Crowley noticed how severely the coughing-fit Freddie was having really was. Freddie was coughing up blood, the red liquid spilling down his hand and arm. Everything was forgotten for a moment as Crowley rushed to his friends side, gathering him in his arms. He furiously snapped his fingers, making a towel appear in Freddies hand to catch all the blood and another miracle to at least try and make the suffering bearable.

Demonic miracles aren’t made for healing. Crowley couldn’t make the blood coughing stop, but he could lessen the pain even if just a little bit.

It was too much. Crowley was heartbroken and terrified, about to lose the one friend he really had and the fact that he was completely unable to do anything about any of it might as well kill him.

But there was _one_ thing he could do to help himself _and_ Freddie. Talk to Aziraphale.

The thought alone made his stomach drop. The possibility of Aziraphale ripping his heart out to stomp on it felt far to great to even consider confessing his feelings. But deep down, he couldn’t believe that the Angel he loved with everything he was, could be this cruel to him. It still scared him.

“M´sorry” Freddie coughed one last time, sacking into Crowleys arms with exhaustion.

“Not your fault” Crowley assured, holding on tightly but gently. “I shouldn’t have angered and stressed you.”

“Stop it, Darling. My sickness and its symptoms aren’t your fault either.”

They remained quiet after that, each one not knowing how to go on from here. Within the timespan of 15 Minutes, they had sex, had a fight and a medical emergency. To say this was a bit awkward was an understatement.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to force you to confess to Aziraphale, using me being sick as leverage” Freddie apologized with a roughed up voice, calming both himself and Crowley by stroking along the Demons arm that was slung around his waist.

“Thank you. I appreciate that. And I’m sorry for yelling at you. I know you only want to help me but let’s face it. I’m a lost cause, ever since I pissed off God and got thrown down to hell.”

Freddie reached up and caressed Crowleys cheek, watching the golden eyes fluttering closed. “You’re not a lost cause. And I hope I can make you see it before I’m gone. If I can’t, I know your Angel will make you.”

Crowley laughed bitterly at that and snuggled his face closer into the hand on his cheek. “I wish I had even a spark of your hope in me, Freddie. I-I can’t promise you that I’ll talk to Aziraphale, but I swear that I’ll try.”

“That’s enough for me right now. Thank you, my Demon.”

_1991_

Crowley got the call at around 6pm and rushed over to Kensington in his Bentley, even faster than he usually drove. It wasn’t the literal end of the world (yet), but it may as well have been for all Crowley knew.

Freddie was going to die today or later this night. He has had bronchial pneumonia for a few days now, a complication of his AIDS, and it would be the cause of his death.

Crowley _had_ to get there before it was too late, he had to see Freddie one damn last time!

His Bentley screeched to a halt in front of Freddie and Jims home in Kensington and he rushed to the door. Jim, Freddies husband, was already waiting for him there, holding the front door open and directing the Demon inside.

Freddie met Jim in 1985 and they began dating about a year later. Although not technically married, Freddie and Jim referred to each other as husband, which Crowley respected. Their relationship may have ended Freddie and Crowleys sexual one, but it never intervened with their friendship.

Freddie looked frail and pale, laying there in his bed, looking at Crowley with a weak smile when he entered.

Jim went to Freddies side, grabbing his hand and bringing it up for a kiss. “Do you need something, love?”

Freddie weakly shook his head. “No, thank you. C-Could you leave us alone for a moment?”

Jim nodded, leaning down to kiss Freddies forehead before he went off, squeezing Crowleys shoulder once before he left the room, closing the door behind himself.

Crowley was still standing in the doorway, not knowing what to do now that he made it.

Freddie managed to smirk at him. “I haven’t…haven’t bitten you in y-years. Come over here.”

The Demon did as asked, sitting down next to his friend. “Damn Freddie, even now you’re making stupid jokes.”

“You know…me” Freddie tried to laugh, but it only made him cough painfully.

Crowley carefully placed his hand on Freddies chest, trying to lessen the pain with his demonic powers. “So…This is…it? You’re leaving?”

“I’m afraid so…” Freddie breathed in deeply, sighing with less pain. “Remember your p-promise?”

Crowley shook his head in disbelieve, tears beginning to form in his eyes. “You’re dying right now, and still all you care about is me?”

Freddie smiled at him. “That’s what friends are for, Darling.”

“I-I haven’t talked to him about it yet” Crowley confessed with a guilty heart. “I-I just couldn’t do it, Freddie. I’m such a coward and I’m sorry that I disappointed you.”

The tears were beginning to roll down his cheeks now, all the while Freddie remained calm next to him, even trying to comfort him by grabbing his hand.

“You couldn’t d-disappoint me…even if…you t-tried” Freddie remarked. “B-But please, for m-my sake as a d-dying man…Talk to him.”

“Fucks sake, Freddie” Crowley sniffed, noticing how weak Freddies grab on his hand was. “I swear I will. I don’t know when, but I _will,_ Freddie. I will.”

He repeated the words a few more times, more to himself then to his friend. Maybe if he said it enough times, he could actually believe it one day.

Freddie squeezed his hand. “Thank you, Darling.”

Freddie Mercury died only two hours later, surrounded by the ones he loved most and loved him just as much. A bunch of humans and a now lonely Demon, mourning the death of their beloved friend and/or husband.

The last thing Crowley could do now was honouring his oath he had made on his best friends death bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Aziraphale was worried.

When it comes to Crowley, this isn’t a new feeling for Aziraphale. He always worries about that particular Demon.

But this time felt different. While Aziraphale knew it was a very dangerous game they were playing, he made sure to keep in contact with Crowley. He may tell Crowley and, mostly, himself, that its because he needs to keep an eye on the Demon and his various temptations.

But deep down, Aziraphale knew it was because he deeply liked Crowley. He’s the only company that he freely invites these days, the only person to which Aziraphale could just say anything without getting reprimanded for it.

But to his dismay, Crowley has gone silent for three months now. Aziraphale started to suspect, and fear, that Crowley had decided to have another century long nap, which would be highly inconvenient.

So, Aziraphale decided enough was enough and he went to Mayfair to see what Crowley was up to and why he wasn’t answering any of his calls.

Just like the front door of the bookshop will always open for Crowley, the flats doors open for Aziraphale as he approaches them. He moves cautiously through the dark hallways, following the music that plays somewhere in the flat.

He has the faint feeling that he had heard these songs before, maybe during a ride in the Bentley?

He ends up in Crowleys bedroom, where the music is loudest. Aziraphale frowns when he looked around, the room had a depressing aura to it and made his chest ache.

Pumping up his angelic glow, Aziraphale bathed the darkness in a soft and warm light. Because of this, he was finally able to make out the shape of his companion underneath the black silk blanket.

Letting out a relieved sigh, he approached the bed. “There you are, dear. I was worried about you.”

Crowley didn’t respond and it was clear as Aziraphale got closer, that the Demon was fast asleep.

Aziraphale carefully took a seat at the edge of the bed and leaned over Crowley without touching him, trying to see his face. And what he saw make the ache in his chest worse.

Crowleys cheeks were tear streaked, the skin around his eyes was red and his features consorted into a deep frown, as if in pain. Deciding that a small miracle couldn’t hurt, Aziraphale snapped his fingers and appeared on the other side of the bed with Crowleys head in his lab.

Crowley didn’t stir and so Aziraphale began to gently pet his hair, using his angelic powers to try and ease whatever pain Crowley must be having right now.

“Oh dear, what ever happened to you?” Aziraphale crooned, knowing being in this position with his sworn enemy is probably one of the most stupid things he ever did. But the desire to somehow sooth Crowleys worries, whatever they may be caused by, was far grander this time.

Crowley stirred slightly then, mumbling something in his sleep and seemingly trying to get closer and wake up.

The Demons mind was sleepy and so was it any wonder that when Crowley heard Freddies singing and felt fingers combing through his hair, that he immediately thought his dearest friend was with him? That Freddies death was all just a horrible dream?

The excitement of this thought woke him up, faster than Aziraphale had anticipated, and his golden eyes flew open as he pushed himself up with a bright smile.

“Freddie!”

Aziraphale had flinched away from Crowleys sudden movements and as he found his composure again and looked at Crowley, he saw that bright smile disappear as they stared at one another.

The Angel felt a pang of guilt first. He just entered Crowleys home and then bed without even thinking of asking the Demon if he was allowed, had touched him in his sleep, even if his intentions were good.

Then a pang of jealousy. Who was this Freddie? Why was Crowley crying over this person? And why did Crowley look so disappointed when he realized it was Aziraphale with him, and not this Freddie?

Then cold fear, as Crowley snapped back to himself from the shock and was visibly retreating from the Angel.

“Aziraphale?! What in the nine circles of hell are you doing here?!” Crowley was mad, but the tears in his eyes lessened the fearful effect he wanted to have.

“I-I’m so sorry for my i-intrusion.” Aziraphale stuttered. “You see, you haven’t answered any of my calls and I-I was beginning to worry, so I just…well.”

Crowley was about to retort when he heard the song playing in the background. Freddies voice, singing ‘Somebody to love’. It was too much.

“I’m fine! Thank you for worrying I guess, but you can leave now. I’m perfectly fine.”

Aziraphale saw the pain in Crowleys eyes and noticed how new tears were trying to form, but the Demon was using all his force to prevent them from doing so.

“My dear, I do not know what has happened. But I do know that you´re not fine. Not at all.” Aziraphale was careful, didn’t reach out to sooth Crowley with his touch, despite wanting to.

“I said I’m fucking fine!” Crowley snapped, baring his teeth. “And even if I wasn’t, it isn’t your concern! You haven’t cared about me before, so don’t act like it now!”

The words stung and Aziraphale hoped the Demon didn’t actually think of him like that. But then again; Has he ever shown Crowley the opposite?

He wanted to. He always wanted to but was afraid of their higher ups finding out and then ending them off. He could live with them coming after himself, but he could never forgive himself for putting Crowley in danger.

Neither of them knew what else to say now, just stared at each other for a moment.

Crowley was feeling too many things at once. Grief, heartache, fear, anger and yet still love. The combination was toxic though, and he needed to let it out somewhere. That somewhere was the radio, that unfortunately still played that song, and Crowley couldn’t take it any longer.

He whipped around and banged his fist down on it, leaving a huge dent and breaking it. “Shut the fuck up Freddie!”

As soon as he had done it, he broke down, realizing he just destroyed one of his CDs. The only way he could still hear his best friends voice.

Aziraphale watched in absolute horror as Crowley destroyed the radio, saw blood dripping down the Demons hand from the sharp plastic parts he just created.

“That’s enough, Crowley!” Aziraphale declared, grabbing the shaking Demon and pulling him into his arms.

Crowley growled and wiggled in his arms, tried to scratch the Angel and ended up biting down on Aziraphales shoulder, his fangs piercing through the skin.

But Aziraphale didn’t let go, didn’t even flinch as the teeth got embedded in his flesh. Because he knew Crowley needed this, that the Demon needed someone to let it out on, to have his grief be heard and felt.

And Aziraphale was more than happy to be that someone.

Crowley tired himself out rather quickly, slumping down until Aziraphale was the only thing holding him up anymore. And he cried. He screamed and just let everything out.

Aziraphale was petting his hair again, shushing his cries and whispering words of encouragement and admiration.

“Crowley, could you finally tell me what’s going on? I want to help you” Aziraphale tried again, voice soft and calm.

Even if Crowley wanted to argue further, he was too tired to do so. “I lost my best friend.”

Another pang of jealousy, but Aziraphale ignored it. “Perhaps that Freddie fellow? I don’t think I’ve ever met him, did I?”

Crowley weakly shook his head. “No, you didn’t. He died, Angel. I shouldn’t have become friends with a human, I knew I shouldn’t. But it felt so good to have someone that is there for you. Someone who didn’t judge me because I’m a Demon, someone who’d always listen to my problems. Now I feel so lost, like I don’t have anyone left. I feel so alone.”

Aziraphale couldn’t hold himself back. “But my dear, _I_ am here for you.”

Crowley let out a bitter chuckle. “Are you, though? Never really felt like you wanted me around.”

“Of course, I want you around.” Aziraphale said, but even he knew his words sounded empty without his actions backing them up. “But you have to understand that heaven and hell-“

“I _know_ about heaven and hell, Angel!” Crowley interjected. “B-But _you_ don’t know what you’ve _done_ to me, how many times I ran to Freddies doorstep because my heart felt like it has been ripped out by you again. I-I can´t do this anymore, Aziraphale. Freddie is gone, I have no one left to help me when you hurt me again and I’m sorry if you’re angry with me for saying this-!”

Aziraphale kissed him. He couldn’t listen to those words anymore. The truth is; Aziraphale _did_ know how much he had hurt Crowley. Aziraphale knew Crowley loved him and because of that love, Aziraphale had to push Crowley away, to keep his beloved safe.

Crowley went completely limp, too overwhelmed with love and the feeling of Aziraphales lips against his.

The Angel carefully laid his Demon down on the bed, looming over him but never breaking their lips apart.

Crowley turned his face away, breaking the kiss so he could breathe again. “W-What’s going on?”

Aziraphale kissed Crowleys neck and throat, humming into the skin. “I love you.”

Fresh tears rolled down Crowleys cheeks from those words. “N-No, you don’t.”

Aziraphale continued to lavish the Demons skin with his lips. “I’ve loved you for so long, my dearest. And I need to keep you safe, I would fight all of heaven and hell to keep you safe.”

“Y-You don’t…Love me…can’t” Crowley tried once more, his mind screaming at him that it wasn’t that easy, that Aziraphale couldn’t just love him after everything that happened, everything he had said and done.

“I can. I love you, Crowley. I’ll prove it, I promise I will. I’m sorry for hurting you for so long.” Aziraphale insisted and reached for the hem of Crowleys shirt, waiting for a nod of permission before he pushed the shirt up to expose Crowleys chest.

He kissed the newly exposed skin, not actively trying to lead this any further than undressing Crowleys upper body. He knew this Demon since the beginning of time, could tell by now what Crowley needed, how he thought. And if some intimacy is what Crowley needed to both work through his loss and his feeling towards Aziraphale, then that’s exactly what Aziraphale would provide.

Crowley cried out, wept with fear about the turn of events and weakly pushed his shirt back down. It was like he snapped back to himself, realized he couldn’t let Aziraphale lavish him after just a few exchanged words.

Aziraphale instantly backed away from any further touch, respected Crowleys decision for his actions to stop. “My dear, are you alright?”

“Do I fucking look like it?” Crowley retorted sarcastically and winced when he remembered his insured hand.

“May I offer my help with that?” Aziraphale tried then, holding his hand out for Crowley to give over this process of healing to him.

Still a bit shaky, the Demon laid his hand into the Angels, watching as Aziraphale carefully and tenderly began to tend to it.

“I’m sorry, I think I may have acted too fast just now.” Aziraphale began, removing a few pieces of the broken radio from the flesh.

Crowley sniffed. “For once, you moved too fast, Angel.”

“I guess I just…Well, wanted to prove you wrong?” Aziraphale avoided those golden eyes, too afraid of what he might see in them. “I know I’ve been more than unkind and unfair to you, ever since we’ve met. But I always hoped you knew, that deep down, you mean the world to me, Crowley.”

“How was I supposed to know that, Angel? _How?”_ The Demons chest burned, partly from fear, but also with hope.

Aziraphale let out a frustrated sigh, that frustration aimed towards himself. “It was foolish, _I_ am a bloody fool for thinking it was that simple. But my dear, can’t you see my reasoning behind keeping you at arm’s length, even if it broke us both?”

“I thought you hate me. I truly began to think you do. Freddie always told me, that you wanted to keep me safe, but it hurt so much Aziraphale. I’d rather die knowing that you love me, than live on and think you hate me.” Crowley tried to hold back the tears, hating how vulnerable and exposed he is.

“I am a Principality, Crowley. I am a guardian and a protector, and even if my reputation as one had suffered since the Garden, I can promise you, that when it comes to something or _someone_ important to me, the protective fire in me burns me up from the inside. I _need_ you to be safe.” Aziraphale explained, beginning to heal the cuts all over Crowleys hand.

“We could’ve been safe together.” Crowley said under his breath, too afraid of Aziraphales reaction, even though he knew the Angel would never physically hurt him.

“We…still can be. Now, I mean.” Offered the Angel hesitantly, daring to lift his eyes up to meet golden serpent ones. “We’d have to be careful, make sure no one ever sees us.”

But to his dismay, Crowley shook his head.

“I can’t, not right now anyway. Whenever I felt terrible and needed someone by my side, I went to Freddie. Now, I have no one like that left. I can’t handle the pain alone anymore, now that I had a taste of true friendship, Aziraphale.”

“I-I…understand.” Aziraphale sniffed this time, wiping away a few tears that spilled and rolled down his cheeks. Gently, he let go of the now healed hand.

“I’m sorry.” Was all Crowley could muster to say as he saw the tears.

“No, do not apologize.” Aziraphale insisted. “This is my doing, and I have no right to hear an apology from you, who was the victim of my actions.”

After a few beats of silence, Aziraphale had an idea. “What if…I become the person you can come to when you feel sad?”

Crowley looked at him, almost petrified at the very idea, but Aziraphale pushed on.

“W-We can’t become romantically involved for the time being, I have destroyed the chances of that with my actions…But we could…become friends? _True_ friends, I mean. Who help each other, who listen to the others problems…Be the shoulder to cry on?”

“I…Think I’d like that.” Crowley answered hesitantly. “A-And maybe one day…we could go further…”

“One day.” Aziraphale agreed, smiling his brightest smile to cheer his _friend_ up. “Now my dear…”

Aziraphale snapped his fingers and restored the broken radio and CD again, Freddies voice singing again as if it never stopped. “How about you tell me about Freddie? He seemed to be rather important to you.”

Aziraphale sat down next to Crowley and held his hand, encouraging him. Crowley just looked at him for a moment while ´Good old fashioned Loverboy´ played in the background, knowing if Freddie was still alive, he would have his best laugh at the song choice.

A tearful but genuine smile spread across his thin lips. “He was. Maybe even the most important human I’ve ever come across…”

As Crowley began to talk about Freddie, recalling funny stories and the best memories with him, he got more comfortable to be around Aziraphale again. It was a good start, at least.

And when he later on decided to sleep some more, he also realized, that his promise to Freddie had been fulfilled too; He talked to Aziraphale. Even if it had to be Aziraphale who reached out to him.

Warmth spread through Crowleys body as he silently thanked his best friend for helping him for all these years.

Because that’s what friends are for, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!


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